15 of 2015

2015 has finally ended and I can't help but look back at how 2015 was for me and my family.  So here are my 15 highlights/lessons/realizations from the past year:

1.   Marriage and Faith. This was the first year in the history of my marriage where everything just seemed to be perfectly in place.  Ironic though because the challenges were actually bigger and much more complicated than ever before but we ate every cookie like the monster did - with angas!  Haha

Kidding aside, I guess when you both decide to always choose love and kindness, use prayer as the first armoury of defense and trust the Almighty with your entire lives, what could possibly go wrong?  If God is with us, who can be against us?

2.  Career. 2015 was actually the most difficult year to date (work-wise) yet I ended it with an overwhelmingly positive high that is big enough to jumpstart 2016.  Less drama, more lessons.  Things were meant to be the way they were so we can be how we are supposed to become!  Go go go 2016!

3.  Breaking Boundaries.  As they say, life is about pushing your limits and 2015 proved to me that anything can be done.  Walls must be broken down, comfort zones must be widened and boundaries must be pushed further.  Last year, I met and talked to people I never thought I'd ever have the guts to.  The outcome actually surprised me!  It's liberating, you should try it out.  

4. Healing.  Forgiveness comes easy for someone like me who wears her heart on her sleeve.  But just like every human being, we all have different ways of dealing with pain.  When things, people or situations are hurtful, every person reacts to them differently.  The key is knowing who are you and sticking to your core values.  

I stopped being too hard on myself and accepted that things just happen - that it's okay to be angry and bitter or to feel hurt and grieve - because that means that I am still alive.  But to stay that way is unhealthy and we have to learn to accept that pain is necessary for growth.  With God's grace, I am healed.

5. Trust.  Unless we give this to people, we cannot be truly happy.  Life is too short to keep on doubting, to keep on guessing.  Of course, we have to choose wisely because the world can be cruel at times.  But we cannot be who we truly are unless we learn that we cannot do things alone.  Teach, trust, empower.  Everybody for Everyone's Success.

6. Achievement.  Golly, this year may have been really challenging but I feel blessed with so many things.  I got my very first GAMA Silver Award for Managers.  GAMA is an international organization for Agency Leaders or Managers.  I got a medal, plaque and certificate! Woohoo! oh, and my face on the newspaper too.

Since the official results aren't out yet and I am waiting for a small technicality, I'm still hanging by a thread with the Achievers Club for Unit Managers - Silver level (company award).  For two consecutive years, the team has achieved Gold level but if God grants this to us (silver) this year, it would mean more than gold to me.  Hahaha   

Lastly, our housing loan was approved and I'm excited for the kitchen we're meticulously designing and planning for.  Thanks to Architect Raymund Inajada who is very gracious in accommodating my evening chats.  

7. Learning and Education.

I simply can't stop learning.  Last year, I went to the Asia Pacific Life Insurance Congress.  Paid for the conference fee, airfare and accommodation.  But the hefty cost pale in comparison to the  lessons I brought home with me.

I will finish my MBA before I turn 35 and I will be a platform speaker one day.

8. Health and Lifestyle.

Oooh. Tough one.  The key is still balance and although I have slowly gained a few pounds here and there,  I'd have to say that my photos during the first half of the year were simply a big achievement!

But yeah, a long long way to go.

9. Bosses and Agents.

Last year, I have learned to embrace that the key to growth is not control but EMPOWERMENT.  When we empower and trust others, we allow them to grow and be the best that they can be.  In the process of learning and growing, we should also not forget to always be grateful to the people who have been instrumental in our journey to success - our mentors and bosses.

10. Clients.

Everything that I do in my business should be for my client's best interests.  2015 was a realization that much more should be exerted to give the best quality of service to my clients.  They deserve that for the trust they have placed in me.  So I realized that on top of everything else, the constant learning for ways to give better service must be one of the strongest desires.  (So I am hoping to make it much better this 2016).

11. Delegation.

No man is an island.  'nuff said.

12. Siblings.  

We grow up so fast just like the kids do.  But the time I spent with my sister during the holidays were a great 2 weeks.  Short but sweet and definitely memorable.  I love her to pieces.  Being with her reminded me na nindot pud sometimes to go back in time.  I miss my brother too.  But yeah, this is life.

13. Parents.

My dad was brought to the hospital on New Year's Eve.  They all arrived 15 minutes past midnight but I was happy it wasn't anything serious.  But really, the thought of it makes me scared and I want to freeze time and spend as much as I can with them.  With the busy schedule and enormous responsibilities, it can be a challenge too.  But I owe everything to them and I couldn't imagine not having them in my life.

14. Family.

Time is gold and 2015 helped me realize that time is not measured by the hours but by every moment spent with my family.  I decided to do my best to stay in the now every single time.  It can be playing with the kids, tutoring them or simply hanging around.  I aim at making all these moments count so that they will always remain in their core memories.

15. Publication.

Last but not the least, I got the surprise of my life before the year actually ended. I am in a publication!!! My story was featured and published on the GAMA Handbook for Managers, the first of it's kind in the Philippines.  I thought I didn't make the cut but I did! I did!  Thank you Lord!

I wrote about the Millenials: Moving them from the comfortable to the unimaginable.  <3 love. love. love.

I can't find better ways to make a long post as engaging as possible.  But for those who are able to brave right through this and finish til the end, THANK YOU.

Happy new Year Everyone! 2016 Here we come!

The Anniversary Blog Post

Anniversaries are so exciting (especially for women).  It creates memories of how it was and longings of how great it will continue to be.  Overall, it builds up amazing memories that reaffirm our undying love for our spouses.

I met Lloyed in 2003.  He was the most gorgeous teacher you'll ever meet in your lifetime.  I will never tire of telling this story for the generations to come.  We were both young and ideal.  Our love story is one that you get to read on a romantic novel where the protagonists go against all odds to fight for their love.

Our battle though was a bit different.  It was having PhP 20,000 for the baby who ended up being delivered via C-section.  It was believing that we can give our family a great life even when we had practically not a single penny to our name.

It was walking along downtown Toronto feeling miserable and alone (wondering if leaving a 3-month old baby was the right decision).  It was giving up the Canadian dream when everybody said it was a wrong move.  It was braving the difficulties of a three-year long-distance relationship for the promise of a better life.  For me, it was pretending to be strong and mature even when I was scared stiff to raise a little boy on my own at 21 (when Lloyed had to work in Japan).

For Lloyed, it was having a non-existent social life.   It meant turning down one invitation after the other believing that time and money was always well-spent with us instead of others.  It was not having to experience becoming a bachelor because he decided to be a responsible family man since day one.  Nobody told him so, or even asked him to. We were everything he needed and we were more than enough to make him happy.

Now more than a decade forward, we have grown so much more than we ever thought we would.  We had different dreams then but God led us to where we are now.  To be honest, never in our wildest imaginations did it ever occur  to us that we'd both be working in two entirely different professions.  But through these years, it was only through Him and Him alone that we got through every challenge and hurdle.

So today, I want to glorify the Lord first.  Thank you God for being our light, our friend and our confidante.  We pray that you may continue to bless the work of our hands.  We thank you for EVERYTHING.  Lord Jesus, we hope that whatever we do in our lives will be for the glory of Your name.

I also want to say thank you to the two sets of parents who have always been there for us.  We wouldn't have made it this far without your love and support.

Lastly, to you honey my labs.  It is two days late but I want to greet you a Happy Anniversary!!!!!  Everyday, I thank God for you.  I love you very much and I will always be grateful that I wake up beside you every morning (technically, since Ysa's in between us lol).   We are all very proud of you and your craft and I know that in God's perfect time, He will grant your heart's deepest desires.

Thank you for sticking it out with me inspite of my shortcomings.  I know sometimes it can be challenging for both of us especially when it comes to scheduling.  But I hope you will always remember that YOU are my number one, my only one ALWAYS.  I am sorry because sometimes I fail to show it but I hope you believe me when I say that I'd drop anything and everything for you.  I always have and I always will.  Honey, I love you.  Happy Anniversary.

Respect begets Respect

I look at my news feed and see a video of a Baranggay Kagawad slapping a security guard .  Instantly my initial thoughts were "Was it really necessary for this person to do what he did?" and then  somehow I form a slow judgment in my mind.  But then I thought about my own experiences and decided to read through the article.

Here's what I realized.  As my mom would always put it, there are always three sides to every story.  Mine, the other person's and the truth.  Sometimes, people are fixated in digging up the truth that they lose out on the fact that along the way somebody else (other than themselves) is probably hurting as much or maybe probably more. Who knows?  In such cases, what good does it make if we dwell on a barrage of stories that ping-pong back and forth?  What good does it really make to point out who was right when only God knows the real story.

The fact is that we supposedly live in a non-confrontational society.  And when people point out each other's differences, the initial reaction is usually not very nice.  When faced with ridicule, some put up a fight and carry their weight around while others stay on the sidelights and keep their mouth shut.  Some people say they're okay with criticism but they go to sleep with bitterness in their hearts.  Some people, on the other hand, take criticism to heart, get what they can from it and change for the better.  

Before the Brgy. Kagawad slapped the security guard, there were probably a series of events that provoked him to.  In the same way that the security guard believed that he did nothing wrong (which probably he might have who knows).  Obviously a case of miscommunication that went out of control.  In this case, would it help if we dissect everything by asking who said what or who did what first?  I honestly think not.  What difference would it make to point fingers and trace every little detail, really?  Nothing.

The golden rule says "Do unto others what you want others to do unto you."  But don't we all fail in this regard every other time?  It's the sad truth.  At the end of the day, I believe that everybody deserves respect.  You don't have to like someone, you just have to respect them.  It is supposed to be given to every single soul in this planet.   

In this regard, the planet is divided as well.  Some say respect is earned, some say it is deserved.  I say let's all agree to disagree. Just like in marriage or every other relationship for that matter, when respect is lost things are bound to fail.  So for me it is something that should be given to everybody - a right every person deserves.  Then again, that's just me. <3

Ma Belle Soeur

The hullabaloo of Paul and Toni’s wedding of the century has died down.  I was not a fan but their interview after the engagement changed it all.  You probably think this post is about it.  Well, it’s not.

One of the things about their wedding that made me weep my eyeballs out was the part where Alex (the sister) tells the groom about her sister’s quirks.  I suddenly remember my own sister and the day I left Canada to build my own life in the Philippines.  She was the only one who knew I wasn’t coming back.  It’s been nine years.  That’s almost half her life (see, I love her so much I still pretend she’s 18 haha). I just had to put that there to avoid some emotional fit here in the office! 

Le Anne is younger than me by four years but five years in school because I was born a genius.  I rub it on her every single time.  I was in college while she was still in high school so I was her FASHION ICON!  Even with a closetful of clothes, she’d ransack mine in the middle of the night.  I later on learned to put my spidey sense in full swing because while I pretend to sleep it starts with a small creek from my bedroom door and then I catch her redhanded in the middle of her little tiptoes! Her reaction was priceless, it was awesome.  

During her formative years my mom was away somewhere in the Middle East.  She was a bit slow compared to me (did I say I was a genius?)  It was difficult for her to read and her grammar was sick. And in a family where your mom writes and speaks so awesomely well, it was a disgrace.  We constantly fought about clothes and food she didn’t finish.  I would tell her about the many underprivileged people who’d love a piece of what she has.  I end up eating her leftovers and of course I became fat.  (Who knew there was wisdom in that? haha)

When we came to Toronto, she joined the music class after my prodding.  Only to find out it wasn’t glee club but a school band!  So one day she came home with a real flute and with all despair told me she’s planning to back out the next day.  We both didn’t know how to play the instrument!  So I thought maybe those days with the Bamboo flute in Cebu would come in handy.  And it did, we tried learning “Wooden Heart” and she ended up one of the great flute players in the band.

One time in Canada, I wanted to commit suicide and drank pills in front of her.  She didn’t even react or stop me so I felt kind of bad that she didn’t care.  Later on she told everybody I was drinking Tylenol (for night) so it would make my cough and colds go away.  No biggie.  Hahahaha  (and NO I also wasn’t REALLY killing myself)

I could go on and on with every other story about us.  But even then I knew in my heart that she was awesome.  I believed that she can be greater than what she saw in herself.  I have always known there was strength amidst her being fragile.  

She graduated high school as an honor student, a cheerleader (I hate that she lived that dream and I didn’t lol), a school band member and a member of the Key Club, an organization I know nothing about.  From several fashion faux pas to now being a certified fashionista.  From her grammatical blunders to an Honours Bachelors Degree in English and History minor in Religion from no less than the University of Toronto.  

To my sister, 

When I went back to the Philippines, it wasn’t about whether I could make up a life here - that wasn’t my greatest fear.  My biggest fear was how you were going to make it out on your own.  But you’ve grown with so much gracefulness as a woman with a good head on top of her shoulders and a heart filled with so much tenderness and love.  All this, without me and you have made me so proud!  

So even though I may be a few days late, I want to greet you a HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!  In a stage in my life where I can only pick a handful true friends, nobody can ever measure up to what we have.  I will always love you and I believe in you.

Love Always,

Ate.  

Midyear Muni-muni

The official time is 8:16 and I am here in the parking lot beside my office building.  All of a sudden I felt the need to blog.  I rarely have this window of clarity.  My head’s usually filled up with so many things, so many people to think about.  

Hmmm… Is it really July in two days?  Half of the year.  Wow.  And it went by so fast I didn’t even notice.  Except for the few bulges on my waistline and the glaring sales performance at work, I’d have to say the first half was all good.  

In summary, this is how January to June came and will go (in a day):

1. God’s faith is enduring.  We closed 2014 on a high and gave ourselves a good pat on the back.  But with a small technicality, I thought I wasn’t getting an award.  The Lord is amazing, I got it just in the nick of time.  
2. My mom and dad came home and for a time, I was allowed to feel like a baby again.  LOL.  We should always be grateful for our parents.  Mine are awesome.
3. We moved to a new house last April in a record breaking manner (see previous post).  After two months, I finally feel at home.
4. Burglars went into the house three weeks into the transfer while we were inside our rooms with the kids.  They got all our laptops.  I felt violated and scared, but the overall feeling was numbness.  The nothingness lasted for a few weeks/months and had a domino effect on other aspects of my life especially that I didn’t keep a backup of my files.  All my work presentations and stats gone.  But now I’m all good.  The Lord is telling me life is a clean slate, we can always start from scratch.
5. My faith in the Lord has been strengthened by all the challenges.  Yet, His messages to me are clear and now I know where I’m heading.  His promises lift me up every single time in spite of all the downs.  I love you Lord God!  I am proud to shout it out to the world.
6. It’s the 7th month without a yaya or house help.  Yet I feel that this has strengthened my marriage.  Lloyed and I have learned to be patient, kind and loving.  We have learned to enjoy each moment and focus on the good.  ALL THE TIME.  Our outlook in life has been condensed to its simplest form.  We are just grateful for every single day and that’s all that matters.
7. The kids have grown so much.  I believe we have become better parents learning from each of them.  

We have a boy in his pre-teens who’ll be as tall as me in the next two years.  He is learning to be his own person and we are doing our best to give him as much guidance as we can.  


Our preschooler is the sweetest kid and he has learned to express himself more eloquently these past months.  We take conscious effort to make sure we give our middle child as much attention.   He appreciates it a lot.  

Lastly, our toddler in her terrible twos can enunciate a number of words.  There have been so much development in her speech and motor skills for the past six months. She’s a cutie pie we just can’t get over how cute her dimples are!

All in all, I can’t help but look forward to more amazing things for the next half of the year.  With 3 mid-year planning events for me to prepare for and execute, there can only be 4 words:  LET’S GET IT ON!

Resurrected.

There has been a terrible drought.  A famine so scarce in the deepest recesses of my brain.  Was that exaggerated enough to prove my point?  It’s been almost two months and I finally had the inspiration to write again.

There have been a lot of noteworthy events like my recent Bali trip or the very first big dinner with my Elite Society but I never had the chance to even cook up an opening sentence. 

Number 1.  Still no yaya.  Still no house help.  Still three kids.  

Everyday I give myself a good time alone with God to help me refocus on the most important things in life.  My faith and relationship with Him has allowed me to look at things with a very positive mindset.  Even after more than 6 months (I lost count) of juggling responsibilities with my loving husband, we manage to get by.

To be honest, it’s still tough everyday but things always seem to fall into place.  Work keeps piling up but with God’s help I am able to tick my checklist one at a time.  Small consistent steps but getting better if not the best at it.  (Of course, can’t do it without you Lord!)

Number 2.  No matter how positive you are but when someone tells you on a Thursday (let’s hide that person in the identity of your MOM) that she wants to move in to her house on the Saturday two days after, you still have a hard time comprehending it.  Let alone actually executing it.  But that was Saturday last week and mountains were definitely moved (no pun intended).

Since our weekdays are horribly busy, we moved in to Mom’s house and brought almost all her things that weekend.  Until now, I still don’t know how we did it.  

Number 3.  I have been living alone for almost 8 years.  If we count the time that I lived with my in-laws after I left Canada, that would make it 9.  So moving back into my Mom’s house is actually a challenge but a welcome change.  

A challenge because we are both so used to living separate lives, used to doing things a certain way and now we have to cohabitate.  A growing young family and a nesting pre-retiree, we both have to adjust and get used to each other’s preferences.  And I tell you, when it comes to a lot of household related things we are spectrums apart.  LOL. I am the I-will-sleep-if-I’m-tired-because-I-have-work-tomorrow-so-let’s-not-mind-the-mess-for-now type of human being.  While mommy is the I-get-a-headache-every-time-I-see-mess-I-just-have-to-do-something-about-it-now type of person.  As I read it over, I can’t help but laugh.  Haha.

A welcome change because for someone so independent, I appreciate moments like these when I get to spend time with my parents.  We’ve been years apart and that space has allowed me to grow into someone I never thought I’d become.  So many amazing things have happened in my life especially in my career and I owe so much of it to my supportive parents.  That is why I don’t look at the little things or the small differences because seeing my parents happy is more than enough.  And the moments my children get to spend with their grannies are priceless memories they will treasure forever.

Number 4.  Why the sudden inspiration to write?  

This needs a bit of a back-story.  We’re staying here in Mommy’s house until our townhouse is fully ready.  That will take maybe around a year or so before we can finally move in.  We realized that since both Lloyed and I are in business there are so many things that we do for work here at home. 

So, we both decided to convert a room into our home office.  We’re planning to do this for our actual house but since it’s going to take a while, I asked my mom if we can do it in her house and she allowed.  Yay!

Now I finally have my nook!  Today I had the time and energy to put our home office/study in order.  We also want to be very hands-on with the kids’ learning and study time, so we decided to create a special corner for them. 

Mr. LVP’s Starbucks mug collection is finally put to good use and when I realized we had a globe hidden in our closet, it just felt so cohesive with the travel concept of the mugs.  Lloyed collects mugs from places we’ve been able to visit - either together or separately and the globe lights up in the dark and shows all the constellations.  Hubby bought it in 2008 before he left Japan but I just opened it today.  (that’s how much clutter we had LOL).

Accidentally hit my finger with a hammer.  Didn't know I have great woodworking skills.  Had to remove the wood around the air-conditioning hole that was nailed around the edges.  Nothing my handy dandy hammer and concrete nail can't remove.

For the last few weeks I felt so displaced.  Even before the move, I was having a hard time going back to my groove.  Gosh, it actually rhymes. Haha  Seriously, it felt so hard to have a predictable way of doing things when there’s just too much clutter.  And with work never stopping or giving me the least bit chance to pause, demotivation is a chunk to overcome.

So tonight I am finally at peace.  While the two kids are sleeping with their dad in our bedroom, Jimjim is reading a book here in the office with me.  Life is awesome.

First Monday of March

There's just too much cuteness in this photo, I felt like I had to post it.

I feel like it's been a while since I've written something down. Probably since my dad went home three weeks ago and just recently flew out again, I've been up and about trying to be at different places, meeting different people every single time. But it's been really fulfilling having to balance all of them.  In fact, I've never been this happy! Ironic thing is we've heard it time and again when they say stress is all in the mind.  Really, that's all there is to it.  All in the mind.  When it gets to me, I breathe in and out and remind myself that.

A lot of things have happened lately.  Have I mentioned we've made a decision to not have help at all?  But that deserves a  separate post.  Although as of writing I have no idea where this is headed to.

Although a bit blurry, this was the fun times at Ipar's for Valentine's Day.

And these two little boys are just too cute!

Jumbled thoughts all in my mind. I've been thinking of what to write down for the past few days.  I was hoping to post the short escapade we had with my parents but they are very privy it won't pass through the parental screening board. LOL. So right now as I sit here on my couch after mopping the floor clean (with the throbbing pain around my whole body haha) I can't help but think of all the weight I've lost. It's been 50+ lbs.

October 2014 at the time when I was still starting out with the lifestyle change.

January 2015 - I run 4 Pru

Feb 2015 - with collarbones

I can't help but try this out :( so I did.

To be honest, it's been two months that I've practically yoyo-d around that number.  It's attributed to a lot of factors really.  Number one being the fact that I have been made to believe (by myself, of course) that this is pretty much good enough.  Number 2 to 100 I could come up with a lot of other things. I told myself Coby's birthday was a dinner buffet how could I say no?  Or to my mom's home cooked meals I loved as a child and now I get to savor after such a long time. (Haven't seen her for a year). Or the fact that if I go down a size or two lower I have to buy new clothes again?!? Or my hair has been falling out and I am not very comfortable with it although they say it's normal. Or that I have to carry a paper bag to bring my "baon" wherever I go. Or my beautiful friends telling me it is good enough and according to them I look very lovely.  For Pete's sake people, these are my beautiful friends! The gorgeous ones I have wanted to emulate. Hahaha! Who am I kidding? It just goes back to number 1.

This was in June 2014 when I have already started toying with the idea of starting with Cohen.

So if there's one thing I have to take away from this whole experience it's another cliche.  There are 101 reasons why you cannot do it but only 1 reason why you could/would/should.  Tricky part is your benchmark can't be shallow.  I was honestly happy with 50 lbs and I came to a point where I didn't mind not losing 32 lbs more. I felt beautiful, healthy and happy.  But I am now asking myself this:  Why did I start this Cohen journey in the first place? The answer still remains: TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL WEIGHT. 

To do that I have to lose 32 lbs more.  Since I'm leaving for an international convention by the end of the month and probably another one by April or May, I have almost conceded and told myself a few more pounds would be fine but maybe 32 is too big a goal at this point.  But a while ago I gave myself a long heavy look at the mirror (there's one behind my couch aha moment hehe) and asked myself if I am willing to do it with the same commitment as I did when I started.

So even if Mr LVP brought this from Manila, I didn't even attempt to get a bite.

The answer is a resounding yes.  But I have to put it here as a reminder to weather it through in spite of the challenges.  I have never been known as a quitter and I will start as if it's my first day.

Before I end this post, I'd like to share to you how the last few months have impacted my life and the way I look at things.  When I scanned through my photos a few months ago, who would've thought I'd look the way I do now?  Everything and anything is possible if we lift everything to God and do the necessary work.  I definitely include The Lord because without Him, nothing can ever be done. And it's exactly like that in almost about any aspect of our lives.  Be it personal, family, career or business.  It's all one and the same: we have faith and stay committed.

A good friend of mine shared his favorite quote to me: "When you eat eggs and ham for breakfast, the chicken makes a contribution while the pig makes a commitment."

One of my favorite bags that got so damaged and only looks great with a filter. hehe I'm now inspired because this is my lunchbag. LOL.

Committing ourselves towards our goals, dreams, and even our relationships means we have to lose part if not all of ourselves, entail a number of sacrifices just to make things work.  While the chicken contributes part of itself through its eggs, the pig died so we can enjoy some mouth-watering ham (which I'm not allowed to eat by the way hehe). That my dear friends is real commitment.

Let's get back to this! Go!

It's the first working day of March.
To 32 lbs more! 
So Help Me God.