I think the worst part about being pregnant is
keeping my emotions at bay. I’ve
always been the type who’d suddenly cry at the movies, at reading blog posts,
at seeing marriage proposals, at anything. Imagine I was like this before I became pregnant, so how
much more now?
Anyway, I was planning to blog about something else
today but my OK day turned out to be one of the worst in my life. Well thanks to Globe that is. Haha (I’m laughing in my mind but I
wish I can laugh about it in real life, too) So there I was trying to have my iPad 3G reconnected (I
already paid the amount due) when I was surprised when the guy told me how much
my incoming bill would be. And it
was a WHOPPING amount and by WHOPPING I mean WHOPPING!
All of a sudden I felt a rush of blood shoot through
my blood vessels and I felt like I could die any minute. It’s not a hyperbole really, it’s
exactly how I felt. I tried to
argue with the guy but he told me to talk to customer service. As if destiny was playing a practical
joke on me, this guy who told me was my hatest guy in Globe. I have hated him since the beginning of time (haha). I've hated his guts from the very first time he gave me customer disservice. So I got my number and went on the
queue. But every minute, I felt
like I was collapsing and much worse, I felt like nobody was there to tell me
it was OK.
Honestly, it is NOT OK. But I felt like somebody had to at least lie to me and tell
me it was because each second I felt sicker and sicker. After a few minutes passed, I realized
there was no use arguing about roaming and I decided to go home. Please don’t ask me how much whopping
is, or ask me a more detailed story because this is the most detailed I can get
or else I’ll ball over in tears. Again.
When I went home, I wasn’t really sure if I can put
up a face to my kids so I told myself I’ll just pretend I’m sleepy and wallow
in self-despair. Then, my eldest
son JimJim broke a house rule (that I’ve been telling and reminding him about
for almost 5-6 times) and suddenly I just couldn’t take it anymore and vented
out on him. I was so awfully
angered that it was so hard to control myself. I thank God for the self-restraint but to be honest I was
scared of losing it because it was terribly hard.So I gave him a final warning, told him to sleep and went to the washroom slash mini walk-in closet to change clothes (since this happened just as soon as I arrived home). While I was changing, I just sat on the toilet seat. And for a moment there I didn’t do anything. When all of a sudden I broke down and cried. I cried and cried and cried. Why? I didn’t understand either.
I felt like a complete mess of a person, of a wife
but most of all of a mother. I
felt guilty because my son had nothing to do with what I felt. However, I realized he did a grave
offense and although I didn’t really do anything to him it just felt weird
knowing that I was already mad before I became madder (let's use this non-existent word for impact LOL). Do you get what I mean? If only I wasn’t already so frustrated,
I know I would still have reprimanded him but maybe in a little less angrier
way.
Hay. But now that I’ve written about it, I actually
feel a lot better. Maybe that’s
the reason why people blog noh? Hehe.
I dunno, I hope it doesn’t sound so pathetic. Haha. But maybe
it’s when we organize our thoughts and get to read what we feel that we develop
a better understanding of ourselves.
I wish I could say something funny or enlightening to
end this post. But let me part by
saying this (not just to you but most especially to myself):
We are just human beings and we commit mistakes, that
part we have to accept. But if
there’s something that must be learned, it’s that if you’re in the heat of your
anger it’s always better to walk away than end up regretting some things you
can never take back.
AND…
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| Photo Credit: http://damnyouglobetelecom.tumblr.com/post/4649268812/why-i-hate-globe |
I hate Globe. I really hate you today Globe.
