How Tough is Tough Love?

Ever since I became a parent, one of the biggest obstacles on top of parenthood itself is discipline.  How do you teach that to a child?  To someone you'd fuss almost everything about from something as minute as an insect bite to a concern as major as bullying.  When do you say it's time to step in or let go?  How do you determine whether it crushes your child or builds his/her character?  As a parent, when do you draw the line?  How will you ever know?

I've been facing this dilemma time and again.  But somehow almost 10 years into parenthood with three amazingly unique children, until now I still can't come up with the right answers. Everything still seems like day one but I'd like to believe I'm getting a better head start than the last.

Recently, I went through a challenging situation with my eldest son Jim.  See, he is without any bias a very smart young man.  For the past year Lloyed and I have been squeezing our brains out trying to come up with activities, motivation and what not just to sustain his interest in learning.  But every time he'd get his hands on a gadget, everything would go haywire.  

We tried the cold turkey technique and eliminated gadget use altogether, then we decided maybe it would be okay to give time on weekends.  Only to realize again this time that it really has a significant effect on our son.  No matter how much monitoring we do, it just goes back to the fact that video games on the iPad somehow makes him forget that there's a "real world" out there (which is actually the world we're living in).  And my greatest fear as a parent is he develops a trait which is prevalent among the youth of today:  APATHY.

Apathy is a lack of interest or concern on matters of general importance or indifference in its whole essence.    How do we teach a child to care more?  How do we really know what to do? Haha.  Forgive the blabber, I guess it's because of all the conflicting emotions I get while I'm actually disciplining my child.  Do you sometimes get that too? I feel like we are putting up a strong facade while we impose punishments but deep inside our hearts are really crying out for them.  

Lovers in San Francisco

As they say we only get a better appreciation of our own parents when we become parents ourselves. In the end, it's all about unconditional love for our families and putting God above everything else that will assure us that we're not astray.  And since it's Valentine's Day in two days, One Big Hearts Love to my dear parents, Jim and Lleanette.

How tough is tough love?  Clueless.