Middle Child Woes

Jacob Ethan, Jim Edward, Ysabela Llouise (L-R)

I guess we are well aware of what they call the "middle child syndrome".  Being a middle child myself I can attest to this; in fact, this has influenced a lot of my principles in life.  Now that I am a mom with three kids, I have been very particular with giving enough attention to our middle child, Jacob. 

He looks exactly like his dad but ironically we are so much alike.  Coby (his nickname) is also free-spirited, independent and friendly like me.  He wouldn't have any qualms with a new environment and new people because he'd adapt right away.  In fact, as soon as he arrives in school, his friends swarm over him and what looked like a silent ghost town would turn into an automatic party.  That's who he is.  So you wouldn't really NOT pay attention to someone as adorable as him!  In fact, for the last few years he'd always be the one to star the show among his siblings.

But recently, Jim (who is 5 years older than him) has turned into some wise genius who never ends to crack up the corniest jokes or narrate the most interesting stories or cook up the most interesting games.  On the other hand, our little baby girl Ysabela (who's turning 2 this month! hooray!) has learned to express herself through pouts and eye rolls.  She's daddy's little girl and so she always takes her rightful place.  Every time I get home from work, she's the first person I notice because she simply takes away all the attention.

So a few days ago, Coby got sick.  He would complain that his tummy was aching and he would refuse to eat or drink anything.  Have I mentioned that he is also overly dramatic when he's not feeling well?  He'd start off as adorable but then he turns irritatingly annoying because he simply won't stop the drama!  We wish we'd have the patience to deal with him but we aren't built on wire so the patience does wear off.  It's been 3-4 days since he took his medication and it's been the same length of time that he started losing his talkative self.  He would carry this sad face and would sit in a corner very silent.

I would try to cheer him up but he'd rarely smile.  So yesterday I tried something different.  When I got home, I greeted him first even if Ysa was all over me.   I tickled him and cuddled with him and for a brief moment he was back to his old self.  I hugged him until he slept and put off all the other tasks I had to do hoping that tomorrow he'd wake up to be the jolly child he has always been.

But when he woke up, he still wouldn't talk.  I wanted to go to the office very early for paperwork since I had meetings lined up from 10 AM onwards.  But while we were having breakfast, Coby won't budge.  He won't talk.  He won't listen either.  So I went to him and asked:  "Do you want mommy to take care of you?" To which he nodded.  While I was preparing his breakfast, the nanny went to give him food but he vehemently protested: "My mommy's going to take care of me!"

Hearing this, I decided to do the paperwork at another time (which turned out to be late in the evening that same day) and put him on my lap.  He complained about his aching throat every time I gave him a spoonful of rice.  So I fed him as little as he would allow while he would lie down on my chest.  He finished his meal after 30-45 minutes.  But after that he was back to his old self.  All of a sudden, he said he was no longer sick and he felt a lot better!  He went back up to his dad and said: "Look at me dad!  I am the winner!" LOL

So lesson of the story: Pay close attention.  No matter what. :)  Not just for the middle child, but for ourselves, our spouses and all of our children.

Lloyed and I have always taken time to spend a special date with each child so we get to hear them talk without any interruptions.  This has proven very effective whenever we notice a difference in our child's behavior.  The special attention puts them back on track.  But of course, as parents we also need to put food on the table and me and Lloyed get very busy with each of our individual work (especially when it's nearing the end of the year).

SO DEFINITELY, IT IS DIFFICULT.  BEING A PARENT IS DIFFICULT.  But I would be willing to lay down my life for my family.  Reminding myself that every single day puts things in proper perspective.