Top Five Things You Learn After Not Having a Nanny and House help for more than Three Months

Ever since the last remaining nanny was fetched by her insecure husband, Lloyed and I decided to go with the flow and accept our fate.  That meant taking turns in all our responsibilities as a couple, parents and business people.  It has been a miracle how we have been doing so far especially with the demands of each of our professions.  But of course with God's help, everything has been manageable.  

We are still on the lookout for staff who could help us out but like most of us parents, finding good help or even just help is but a challenging feat.  But let me share with you the lessons I learned after living the "American Life" in Cebuano soil.

1.  Your child's cry is music to your ears.  Whether it's a legit cry coming from a toddler or a made up dramatic scene from a boy of 4 or 9 years, they all carry a symphony of emotions that can shake up your senses. So if you don't have a nanny and househelp and the crying won't stop even if the list of chores seem to grow, make sure you master these three things: a.) look your child seriously in the eye and reassure him/her that things are going to be fine b.) distract him/her with your humor and if all else fails c.) take a deep breath and transcend to a higher place until you reach a state of silence. Pure, calm, roaring silence.  You'll master this after three tries.

2.) Art is fun.  Colors make the world vibrant.  So if you see your white wall with scribbles or your bed/floor with piles and piles of colorful toys, APPRECIATE.  Because that's what they call Abstract.  Just make sure to put on your super steel soles or else be prepared to scream because these tiny lego pieces come in the middle of the night, they're scary. You never see 'em coming because they're so little!  But the pain they strike reverberates from your sole throughout your whole body!  If you had a choice, you wouldn't want them to see the light of day.

3.)  Know that nothing ever gets lost when there's three kids in your house.  They just get misplaced.  Oftentimes you find them when you don't need them anymore.  You realize you try your best to organize everything but you're too tired from all the cooking, scrubbing, washing the dishes, doing the laundry on top of your responsibilities at work.  The chaos seems to have developed its own system that everything somehow falls into place ALL the TIME. And even when you can't find your coin purse at that moment you needed it, you rely on the belief that one day when the time is right you will. Yes girl, you will.

4.)  "Me" time or "Hubby and Me" time is reduced to a total of more or less one hour.  Two would be a gift!  In between the chores you divide yourselves with and the work you have to do in between. The conversations about regular things not related to children, work or expenses can be compressed in less than 60 minutes. Most times even less. Yet even so you are fulfilled knowing that you are sharing your life with the most supportive partner who shows so much love and care for you especially in the most challenging times.

5.)  You become more stretchable than rubber.  Who would've thought you'd be able to cook 5 meals in one and a half hour? Or bathe three children all at once in a span of 15 minutes tops. Or think of your PowerPoint presentation for your management meeting while doing the laundry?  Who could've imagined that you could devise a system of clearing a pile of dishes and pots in the shortest possible time? Yet through this all, you manage to keep a smile on your face and a heart that is full.  Because at the end of the day, you see your beautiful children and your wonderful spouse all wanting to make every moment with you count.  

And every alarm you've struggled to wake up to just to prepare breakfast, every little thing you had to put off for yourself and every ache in your body after a long day's work in and out of the house is simply worth it. <3

Failures and Resolutions

They often say that our courage and strength are better defined by our failures instead of our achievements.  2014 was a year of sorts.

I usually coin my experience as "kamang sa yuta". Direct translation is crawled on the ground, gumapang sa putikan (to exaggerate a little hehe). It was the year when my job felt so thankless and unfulfilling. It was the year of knowing what it means to have personal boundaries, to be wary of giving away trust. It was the year of letting go of toxic relationships, of people who say they're with you but then they do differently when you turn your back.

What I had to go through was so difficult but liberating at the same time.  I learned to listen to myself more, I learned to be confident in who I am and what I know and somehow by the end of the year I was back to who I really was: happy.  I rid myself of all the negative emotions and in the same way, all the pain went away.

I ended last year on a high note only to receive some bad news today.  This is probably the most record breaking in my whole career (but I decided to keep it to myself).  For a drama queen like me, I didn't weep and wallow in misery.

With God's grace, I have learned to accept that everything is always in accordance to His will.  I have been extremely blessed because I am not broken in spite of my failures.  In Him, there is strength without arrogance.  In the end, God has put me where I am meant to be.  Here and now.

So this new year, let's look at our failures as reminders of how we had to pick ourselves up.   And we shall claim this year to be the best there ever was!  

Happy New Year to us ALL!!!!!!

Now I Heart Manila

I've always loved the simplicity of living in a small city like Cebu.  So for the longest time I could never imagine loving or even liking Manila.  Although I go there almost every year for our company Annual Awards and every so often for my trips abroad (that don't have direct flights), I've always somehow looked at it as just a place in a map.  A very CROWDED place in the map, in fact.  But let me share with you how I've seen the light.  Haha

Back in August, Lloyed and I decided to spend his birthday weekend in Manila.  On his actual birthday, he participated in an event called the Bride and Breakfast Editorial Fest 2014 at the Privato Hotel.  When I arrived the day after, he was beaming with so much excitement and I heard nothing but beautiful stories.  He would talk non-stop and for the first time in many months, he was ecstatic! 

Two days after the Ed fest, we participated in a Photoshoot Marathon with the N@Wies or Newlyweds@Work.  We were both a bit scared and apprehensive not really knowing what to expect. It was a big gathering of all members of the N@wie community and they would queue up to have their photos taken by different photographers.  It was a production of all sorts!  While other photographers had styled setups, Lloyed had nothing but his camera and of course his beautiful wife. wahahahaha  But we were so blessed because Mimma Benz found a great spot for us that became 'patok na patok' we were even one of the last few to leave.  <3  The N@Wies and Mimma were so great I'd love to do it all over again.

 

 
On our last day, we had lunch with Ian, Janna and Marian of Bride and Breakfast.  Again, we were a bit scared.  Haha (Although looking back, it's funny thinking that because the Simpao couple turned out to be the nicest friends we'd love to talk about anything under the sun with!)  In the meeting, they gave us very helpful insights that eventually helped Lloyed define his brand.  So that day capped off my husband's great and eventful birthday weekend. 

For a backgrounder, Lloyed has gone through a roller coaster ride since he quit his day job last year to focus on his business (LVP).  Coming from a family of employees and OFWs, venturing into business full-time is very challenging especially with three kids to take care of. On top of that, with Lloyed's shy personality that comes out 'suplado' at times (LOL), it was quite a struggle for him when he started.  Let me correct myself, he comes out 'suplado' ALL THE TIME if you don't know him yet.
 

So seeing him with so much excitement (like a giddy teenager) warmed my heart.  He was this bright-eyed boy again who wanted to live his dreams!  Somehow, Manila leaves that kind of impression on him.  And the traffic jam, the taxi drivers that have no concept of 'sukli', my hands getting tired of pulling the luggage on the streets, the time away from the kids and every peso we spent for the trip, made everything worth it.  I wouldn't mind going back to Manila as often as I would just to see Mr. LVP incredibly happy. <3

The other half say this. The other says that.

I think one of the hardest things in life is not being able to eat what you want.  Really.  I am at a point in my life where I want to tear my hair apart and want to either sleep all day or get mad at somebody for no reason just so I can distract myself from looking at all things delectably appetizing.  It’s the holiday season for crying out loud!

yum yum YUM

Yet, it’s the first ever in my life when I see a red velvet cake, a chewy brownie, a freshly baked piece of bread but have to look away.  It’s so depressing.  I’ve lost 36 lbs in my first two months and hopefully I lose another 10-15 more on my weigh-in this coming Tuesday (3 days from now).  It’s obvious I look much younger, feel lighter and all my old clothes don’t fit anymore.  But I just feel so miserably jealous of all the pastries I don’t get to eat.  Huhuhuhuhu. 

I feel the need to rant every so often even when my supportive Cohenite group remind me of the reason why I enrolled in the program in the first place.  I just really want to eat cake but I  won’t.  You get what I mean? 

 

Isn't this so Christmas-y? It says come to me!

Then again, my hubby always tells me that it’s always so annoying when people complain but don’t do anything about it.  So when I ask myself: “Would I succumb to all these temptations?”  My answer is still a resounding NO.  So what the heck is this blog post for then?  LOL.

Random thoughts. Random self-contradicting thoughts that hopefully will help me get through this whole process.  In the meantime, I hope this video would perk us all up in whatever shallow or major turmoil each of us might be in right now. Hahaha 

I love this song <3

I guess I just have to remind myself that with whatever choice I make, I just have to suck it up and stick to it.  When I decided to do this, it's because I wanted to live a longer life for my loved ones.  I wanted to lose weight not to look good but to be healthy.

Lloyed my labs, I've been chunky for so long I know you wouldn't mind it a little bit longer because:

"If you got beauty beauty just raise 'em up
'Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size
She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night."

Team Mama Bear Version 2.0

It's funny how we get the best ideas from the most ordinary things.  In my profession, groups or units are usually distinguished through the manager's initials - in my case, JCV (let's scrap the D for Desiree since I rarely use the name LOL).  But last year, I got hooked with Manilyn Reynes' character in a KathNiel teleserye as Mama Bear (the jologs that I am).  So I used Team Mama Bear because it just fits - Jill the cuddly Mama Bear.

Towards the end of last year til the first quarter of 2014, the group suddenly grew so big that I realized midway how "not ready" we were to keep up with the growth.  It can be attributed to a lot of factors but the bottom line is there's a lot of change that had to be done.  As they always say, to make way for better growth we leave the past where it should be (the past) and KEEP Moving FORWARD. 

So very recently, I decided to rebuild my team.  I handpicked a handful of people in the hope that they can share my views on raising the bar of excellence.  The decision on who to choose was a very difficult process so for weeks I prayed and prayed for wisdom.  Through God's grace, I was able to pick my core group and we spent an awesome weekend together for our Annual Planning for 2015 last November 15-16.

I was feeling very jittery about this event because I wanted to make sure that whatever time we spent there (away from our loved ones) would be worth it.  The challenge of preparing everything from the program flow, activities, presentations, etc. for a span of two and a half weeks was enormous.  And for those of you who don't know, when you're in sales the last quarter of the year is the most hectic!

So early in the morning I called Marco Polo Plaza Hotel to confirm if we will be granted adjoining rooms and if I could request for an early check-in.  Unfortunately, I was told nothing can be guaranteed.  Feeling a little bit stressed out, I prayed a short prayer and told God that whatever it is that He shall grant me I will embrace with open arms.  But lo and behold!  When I arrived at the hotel at 9:30 AM, these two envelopes were ready for me and right away we were ushered to check-in to our rooms.  I knew at that point that through God's grace the event will be a great success.

Right after our opening prayer, we started with the Getting to Know you Game.  It allowed us to give a few tidbits about ourselves before we went on to the actual learning.  We had a number of good laughs but probably one of the biggest highlights of that day was the Lost in a Desert Island Game just before lunch.  I split the group into two teams and they were to make a presentation (according to the mechanics of the game).  I also asked them to pick a Team Name and a Cheer.  The best Team Presentation wins a prize.

So here are the two teams ~ 

TEAM RAWR:  Ssachie, Alrose, Wilson, Armie  (L-R)

TEAM ALLAN:  Mae, Frege, Florence, Vanvan  (L-R)

And this is how busy they were with the preparations:

This is Team RAWR Brainstorming

Apparently not too busy to take a selfie

While in the other room...

It is important to pose when someone's taking a photo - TEAM ALLAN

So I took another photo with this group!

Then the presentation began and we had the most stomach-killer laughs!  Team RAWR presented their cheer:

First Quadrant - Armie: "oh, is it starting already? (There's a problem with my headpiece!!)"

Ironically, their cheer composed of one word and one word alone: RAWR. intro music: Bad Romance. LOL!  The presentation was hilarious and creative.  Kudos to Alrose for the script and narration, to Wilson for giving justice to his role as a techie Lion and the belly dancer girlies Ssachie and Armie for making sure that the audience does not leave out a very important detail in their presentation - the 5-layer fondant cake.  Based on the person in the audience wiping her tears from the uncontrollable laughter, theirs was indeed a very entertaining presentation.

But who said, TEAM ALLAN wouldn't keep up a good fight?  Here's how they did their cheer:

Ah-1, Ah-1, Ah-1, 2, 3. go!

Oy, oy, oy warm up pa lang 'to mga ate.

Team Allan for the win!

Now, for the amazing FINALE! LOL!

If you're wondering why they named their team ALLAN, then you were exactly like the rest of us!  Haha.  This team also did an astounding performance.  Frege as Allan the Generous did an awesome host.  But wait 'til I start talking about the individual performances of Florence the award-winning beeper lady, Vanvan the dramatic actress who found her sunblock in the trash and Mae the sophisticated wife married to a red pillow sheer-sando wearing husband.  If there's another word for hilarious, do let me know.  But let me show you how funny it was instead.

That's me choking! Haha.  I had to eat my lunch (tuna and celery) since I'm still on the Cohen Lifestyle.  Hilarious!

And the winning team by unanimous decision was TEAM RAWR!  So here we were taking a few photos before eating lunch.

Ka galang-galang look with beauty pageant finalists on the side!

On cue, we go CRAZY!

On our second day, we all wore "because I said I would." shirts.  I got this idea from one of our Leader's Assembly gathering which the speaker also got from an MDRT magazine.  The whole purpose of this advocacy can be well explained here.  But it simply signifies that we should give more value to our commitments.  That promises should not be given unless they are kept.  And this is the culture I wanted this core group to embrace.  

As much as possible, I want my team to always think before they speak (although it's always easier said than done).  To always look at the brighter side of things and embrace positivity in its whole essence.  To always try with the best of their ability to deliver what they promise.  Not just in our business but in every aspect of their lives.  Personally, each of us have struggles to battle but at the end of the day, how willing are we to give our all for God, our families, our fellowmen (clients, friends, colleagues) and ourselves?  

To be part of my core group is not a right but a privilege each person has to continually deserve.  The goal is not to alienate others but to bring more people in.  I have decided to raise the bar, to have better standards and to have people who treat their word like gold.  Now I know what I want as a leader and it is only through God that it has unfolded before me.

So before I end this post, let me share to you some more photos from the second day.  We checked out late at 2 PM free of charge (again, with God's grace) and so we then had our late lunch in the Lobby Lounge.  Sadly, I wasn't able to get myself a cohen-friendly meal because I was famished!  The pizza was yum and the company amazing!

I've always been a radical person - challenged the norm, deviated from the bandwagon, always challenging myself to be better at anything I desire to do.  I'm used to change, I'm used to the unpredictable.  But as leader, the most difficult thing is change.  Why fix something that isn't broken - they often say?  Yet, I've decided to do a total overhaul and I am thankful because God has stayed with me every step of the way.

He has blessed me with these people - my Core Group.  As a person as crazy as I am, I feel honored to have a group which is as equally outrageous.  I am humbled by this opportunity to help you reach your dreams.  Let's lift up everything to Him and do our best to touch other people's lives. <3

When we came into the world, we were born with nothing.  All the achievements and accolades are just material wealth - temporal things. Through the years, I have learned that the most precious things in life are in their simplest form.  So I don't mind starting from scratch all over again. 

This is me, This is us.  TEAM Mama Bear version 2.0.

Middle Child Woes

Jacob Ethan, Jim Edward, Ysabela Llouise (L-R)

I guess we are well aware of what they call the "middle child syndrome".  Being a middle child myself I can attest to this; in fact, this has influenced a lot of my principles in life.  Now that I am a mom with three kids, I have been very particular with giving enough attention to our middle child, Jacob. 

He looks exactly like his dad but ironically we are so much alike.  Coby (his nickname) is also free-spirited, independent and friendly like me.  He wouldn't have any qualms with a new environment and new people because he'd adapt right away.  In fact, as soon as he arrives in school, his friends swarm over him and what looked like a silent ghost town would turn into an automatic party.  That's who he is.  So you wouldn't really NOT pay attention to someone as adorable as him!  In fact, for the last few years he'd always be the one to star the show among his siblings.

But recently, Jim (who is 5 years older than him) has turned into some wise genius who never ends to crack up the corniest jokes or narrate the most interesting stories or cook up the most interesting games.  On the other hand, our little baby girl Ysabela (who's turning 2 this month! hooray!) has learned to express herself through pouts and eye rolls.  She's daddy's little girl and so she always takes her rightful place.  Every time I get home from work, she's the first person I notice because she simply takes away all the attention.

So a few days ago, Coby got sick.  He would complain that his tummy was aching and he would refuse to eat or drink anything.  Have I mentioned that he is also overly dramatic when he's not feeling well?  He'd start off as adorable but then he turns irritatingly annoying because he simply won't stop the drama!  We wish we'd have the patience to deal with him but we aren't built on wire so the patience does wear off.  It's been 3-4 days since he took his medication and it's been the same length of time that he started losing his talkative self.  He would carry this sad face and would sit in a corner very silent.

I would try to cheer him up but he'd rarely smile.  So yesterday I tried something different.  When I got home, I greeted him first even if Ysa was all over me.   I tickled him and cuddled with him and for a brief moment he was back to his old self.  I hugged him until he slept and put off all the other tasks I had to do hoping that tomorrow he'd wake up to be the jolly child he has always been.

But when he woke up, he still wouldn't talk.  I wanted to go to the office very early for paperwork since I had meetings lined up from 10 AM onwards.  But while we were having breakfast, Coby won't budge.  He won't talk.  He won't listen either.  So I went to him and asked:  "Do you want mommy to take care of you?" To which he nodded.  While I was preparing his breakfast, the nanny went to give him food but he vehemently protested: "My mommy's going to take care of me!"

Hearing this, I decided to do the paperwork at another time (which turned out to be late in the evening that same day) and put him on my lap.  He complained about his aching throat every time I gave him a spoonful of rice.  So I fed him as little as he would allow while he would lie down on my chest.  He finished his meal after 30-45 minutes.  But after that he was back to his old self.  All of a sudden, he said he was no longer sick and he felt a lot better!  He went back up to his dad and said: "Look at me dad!  I am the winner!" LOL

So lesson of the story: Pay close attention.  No matter what. :)  Not just for the middle child, but for ourselves, our spouses and all of our children.

Lloyed and I have always taken time to spend a special date with each child so we get to hear them talk without any interruptions.  This has proven very effective whenever we notice a difference in our child's behavior.  The special attention puts them back on track.  But of course, as parents we also need to put food on the table and me and Lloyed get very busy with each of our individual work (especially when it's nearing the end of the year).

SO DEFINITELY, IT IS DIFFICULT.  BEING A PARENT IS DIFFICULT.  But I would be willing to lay down my life for my family.  Reminding myself that every single day puts things in proper perspective. 

Bitter post: Regular Yum and Spaghetti

I know. I know.  I’ve been promising to keep up with this blog time and time again but I have failed each time.  Today, I will no longer say that I’ll write and update this, I’ll just do my best.   Also, I just wanted to find an avenue where I can vent out all of these crazy thoughts I have today.

I am losing my mind thinking about food!  Really.  My brain has literally gone berserk passing by one restaurant after the other and thinking how much food I am not allowed to eat.  Just to give you an update, I am on the Cohen Diet.  I started this month – October 3 to be specific.  So right now I’m on my third week.

For those of you who are not very aware of this diet, you actually need enroll to the program (with a premium) and the centre will guide you on your journey to achieving your goal weight.  I started with 106.3 kilograms.  Yes, I am that heavy.  Hence, I decided to enlist to the program.

First, I had my full blood exam taken (which surprised me since everything else was normal except for my blood sugar).  Then, they assessed my results and created a personalized eating plan just for me - making me feel extremely special.  <3

So for the last two weeks I have mastered the art of cooking with herbs like oregano, tarragon, basil, turmeric and your friendly-neighborhood black pepper, to make my food tasty enough.  I have also learned to love Rica’s (the restaurant in Henry Hotel) because it has become my go-to-place every time I feel so deprived.  Overall, even if for the most part it is very challenging, the inches off my clothes make it very rewarding (most of the time).

Yet today is different.  Today, I really just want to cry and sleep and wallow at how miserable I feel.  I want to eat J. Co Donuts.  I want to eat Pizza.  I want to eat the Regular Yum and Spaghetti from Jollibee that was served during this morning’s leaders training.  It was freeee!!!! AND I COULDN’T EAT IT.  Huhuhuhuhuhuhu  I had to eat my apples while the aroma of beef and pasta infiltrated the training room.  Why this miserable life? LOL.

Right now, I’m writing this post while waiting for my next meeting.  I have a terribly busy daily schedule and I convinced myself that I can incorporate my diet into it.  Have I been successful?  Actually, I haven’t cheated since the start.  So today I will post this to make sure I don’t get to cheat in the next few hours, or God forbid the next few minutes.

Note to self: I don’t like Donuts.  Donuts are not yummy.  Regular Yum has a stinky beefy aftertaste and the Jollibee Spaghetti has weird tasting hotdogs.

‘Til the next rant.

 P.S.  My agents have arrived and they're ordering and eating all the stuff I'm not supposed to eat so that they can enjoy what I cannot.  I hope this strategy works.  It's like paying forward.  They want to help me so they will eat on my behalf.